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ON BEGINNING (OR ENDING) THERAPY -- PART ONE

10/19/2013

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Making That First Call

The decision to come into therapy is, of course, highly personal and varies from individual to individual. Sometimes it comes after a traumatic event like a breakup, the death of a loved one, or any kind of loss that seems to have “pulled the rug out from under” you. Other times people find themselves reaching out for help without being able to pinpoint any one reason or event, but instead describe a persistent sense of things “not working,” of feeling sad, anxious, and/or bewildered, or perhaps agitated, angry, or resentful. They may complain of longstanding feelings of low self-esteem that have kept them in a low-paying job or a problematic relationship; or they may feel they’ve been “cheated by life” because things aren’t going the way they were supposed to – maybe they didn’t get the promotion they went for, or the person, or they experienced some other kind of intense disappointment. Perhaps a parent, partner, co-worker or friend has sensed that “something is wrong” and suggested (gently or forcefully) that they seek help, or maybe the impetus came from within.

Whatever the reason(s) for making that first call, it takes a great deal of courage to put your heart and soul in the hands of another, and to trust that this person whom you don’t yet know will have the sensitivity to understand what is wrong and the wisdom and skills to help make things better.

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FINDING EMOTIONAL BALANCE

10/3/2013

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FINDING EMOTIONAL BALANCE

Finding a sense of emotional balance can be challenging, if not daunting. It can sometimes
feel as if everyone else has the “answer” and you’re the only one who can’t make
things happen – whether it’s having difficulty establishing and/or maintaining
meaningful relationships, or finding work that is both gratifying and
financially rewarding. 

You may be 20-something and struggling to start out, or 30-something and still searching, or in your 40’s, 50’s or older and don’t know why you continue to feel that somehow things aren’t coming together. Or perhaps you did find what you wanted and experienced that sense of well being, but then suffered some life-changing event (the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, divorce, a serious illness), and you can’t seem to shake those feelings of sadness, alienation and longing for what you once had. You might feel overwhelmed by anxiety or stuck in the rut of depression; or you might find yourself over-eating or drinking more than you should; or maybe you’ve found a quick fix in sex or drugs or pornography. Perhaps you’ve been aware that you’re having difficulty but you can’t even put your finger on what’s wrong. You’ve just hoped you’d get over it, or thought you could solve it on your own. But nothing seems to have worked.

Often, by the time people come into therapy, they’ve tried to fix the problem themselves, but the tools they have at their disposal, tools that may have helped in the past, are no longer effective.
That’s when another set of eyes and ears can help you find new answers to old problems.

I believe that therapy is a way of restoring emotional balance. Through active listening, empathy and reflection I try to help you identify what’s creating your struggle so that together we can
work on removing the obstacles to your fulfillment.

 

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    Author:
    Betsy Hallerman

    Betsy Hallerman, LCSW has been writing creatively since childhood, as well as professionally for the past 30 years. Her submission to The New York Times on the plight of a client on the brink of homelessness resulted in their featuring it as the lead the story in its "Neediest Cases Fund" in 1984. From 1994 - 1996 her  reviews of Scientific Meetings of the Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis were  published in the American Journal of Psychoanalysis.

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